Loss of inhibition

sitting in an isolated hotel in Nashville far from the hectic scene of its down town, I distract myself. Getting close to the deadline of submitting my story about a recent discovery in carbon nano tube isolation at Vanderbilt University in Tennessee, I cant stop thinking about all the emotions that I have chosen to inhibit during the past years. loss of inhibition is a good thing to have at times.
I need to get this out of my mind. I am home sick.
ridiculously home sick. and since I recently became a US citizen I guess I have to redefine the definition of "home". Iran: where most my memories rest. it will be three years soon since the last time I visited. three god damn years. soon I will be visiting one of my best friends in Dubai, the closest I can get to Iran with out the potential possibility or I shall say risk of getting arrested. I am not so sure if I can handle that kind of closeness but yet the inability to take another one hour flight to land in Tehran.

I wrote a piece long time ago about the definition of love.

عشق چیست؟عشق ساده است. عشق در قطره اشکی خلاصه میشود. قطره اشکی که با جدا شدنِ چرخهای هواپیما از زمین، به زمین میریزد.

there is a video clip that I can't stop watching. a group of mentally challenged kids sing a song called Eshgh, love. its a poem by modern persian poet Akhavan Saales.

it says all loves die, they fade, but your love will never die nor it will fade

هر عشقی میمیرد
خاموشی میگیرد
عشق تو نمیمیرد
باور کن بعد از تو دیگری

در قلبم جایت را نمیگیرد

I don't think any poem can explain my current state of mind any better.